The first year of marriage, often called the honeymoon stage, is a magical time filled with love, excitement, and oftentimes a bunch of adjustments on both sides of the marriage. You’re merging your lives and navigating the complexities of being a married couple. It’s supposed to be complex, if marriage was easy then everyone would be happily married, but that’s sadly not the reality in our world. Understanding the common challenges that newlyweds face and having the right mindset to overcome them can make this journey that much better. Change, Communication, expectations, finances, intimacy (hubba bubba) and handling your own identity to not get lost within your marriage are some of the most common challenges that we encountered during our first year of marriage and offer practical tips, both our own and from others, to help them strengthen their bond and build a solid foundation for a lifelong marriage.
Caveat: We are firm believers in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and thus view marriage through a biblical lens. Marriage is a sacred and covenantal union between a man and a woman, established by God. Marriage is not merely a social or legal contract but a spiritual covenant before God. It is a relationship characterized by mutual love, respect, and commitment, where the husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and the wife is called to submit to her husband’s leadership within the context of love and respect (Ephesians 5:22-33). Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4.
Communication is Key: Communicate communicate communicate! Over communicate! Effective communication is vital to the success of any marriage. During the first year, you will encounter miscommunications, unresolved conflicts, unspoken expectations, or simply feel overwhelmed by the process of sharing your life with someone else. It’s important to know that this is normal, it doesn’t make you any less of a husband/wife if these things happen. It’s essential to establish an open and honest communication from the start. Encourage each other to express thoughts, feelings, and concerns without judgment or criticism. Active listening, empathy, and validation play pivotal roles in making your spouse feels heard and understood. This means putting the phone down every now and then and focusing on what your spouse is saying.
Managing Expectations: This is so closely related to communication but I felt it deserved its own blurb. Having high expectations about your marriage and future is totally natural for newlyweds. Unmet and unspoken expectations can lead to disappointment and tension, if left unaddressed. Discuss your expectations openly and realistically. Be willing to compromise and adapt to the inevitable changes that will occur as you grow closer together. The cliche that marriage is a journey of growth (on both sides) and discovery rings true here, and adjusting your expectations along the way is an integral part of the process.
Handling Finances Together: Finances can be a sensitive topic, but it’s vital to address them if not before marriage then early in marriage. Contrary to popular celebrities, TikToks/Reels, create a budget together, join your finances, and discuss your financial goals and aspirations. Why keep parts of your life separate? In marriage you are one and it doesn’t make sense to be one in every area but then leave finances off in the wind. Be transparent about your financial situations, including any debts or financial commitments (this should preferably be done prior to marriage). Establishing shared financial responsibilities and making joint decisions about money will foster trust and teamwork within your marriage.
Balancing Independence and Togetherness: Maintaining a sense of individuality while building a strong partnership can be a delicate balance. Give each other space to pursue personal interests and spend time with friends and family. It’s not healthy to be all about each other all the time. At the same time, find activities and hobbies you both enjoy to create shared experiences and lasting memories. Balancing independence and togetherness allows each partner to thrive while nurturing the bond between you. We try to do dedicated alone time, to protect our individuality.
Embracing Change: The first year of marriage often involves significant life changes, such as moving in together, adjusting to new living arrangements, or even starting a family. Embrace these changes with an open heart and mind. Be patient with one another as you adapt to your new roles as spouses and possibly as parents. Recognize that change can be challenging but can also bring growth and new opportunities for your relationship to flourish.
Nurturing Intimacy and Romance: Maintaining intimacy and romance is crucial for keeping the spark alive in your marriage. Take the time to prioritize date nights and special moments together, even amid busy schedules. You can follow @HappilyHenschen on Instagram for Dallas date night ideas. Small gestures, like leaving love notes or surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, can go a long way in showing your affection and appreciation.